I feel so bad about myself tonight because I wasn’t able to take the exam for one of my MA classes. Call me nuts or crazy but it is the academic exam that I did not take for the first time since nursery.
So there goes the dread.
Everything seemed out of place and out of time today.
We were supposed to leave early to buy goods but we overslept. Comes breakfast, the much-awaited omelette cannot be served on time because there was a power interruption in the egg station of the hotel.
We made a fast track of buying pasalubong of just anything because we were thinking about our companions whom we made plans of going altogether to the airport only to find out that they went ahead of us without even notifying us.
Then the unexpected came. There was a grass fire over the vicinity of the airport causing zero visibility from above the airport. Our 10am flight was moved to 11 then to 1:30 PM. We aboard the plane at 1:30, alright, but we were notified when everyone was inside the plane that due to the airway traffic, we were set to take off at 2:30, nothing left to do but to oblige.
How can I calm the raging thoughts inside my head when all I was thinking was the exam that can cost me an incomplete final grade?
I don’t really know my point here. I just need an outlet to voice my frustrations, sadness, rage, and disappointments out. I feel like crap just because I was not able to catch my 5:30 class and my teacher told my classmate that I should have cancelled my flight to GenSan. Wow. As if I was a fortune teller to be knowing of the future.
What is not there to understand that there was a grassfire earlier today in GenSan so domestic flights were delayed? Why do I have to explain myself when I don’t have any choice in the matter? What part of a “grassfire incident” does my teacher cannot understand?
I feel so bad about myself tonight because I am no longer allowed to take an exam because she does not even have the slightest consideration of what happened to me/us today. I feel so bad because I was not able to catch my class to take my exam when I could have. I feel so bad because I am so tired and exhausted and I still have a report and another exam tomorrow but I am here writing my blog post about how I feel bad about myself tonight.
So this is what depression with rage looks like. I feel so bad.
Neyziellewanders 