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Pop, how do you do that?

Published on June 20, 2015June 23, 2015 by Neyzielle RonnicqueLeave a comment

He never looks for praises. He’s never one to boast. He just goes on quietly working. For those he loves the most… When times are good or bad, one of our greatest blessings [is] the man that we call Dad. – Silent Strong Dad

For always keeping in touch for literally everyday and for asking me daily how was my day, how do you do that? How in the world do you always find time for an open communication as if you’re not 6, 626 miles away?

For continually providing for the family as if you are never lacking, how do you do that? You work hard, harder every day, and hardest when we are all in college, and you never complained of how hard your life is. You never told us to stop spending for things we do not need because you always support what we want to do in life, how do you do that?

For giving us what we want though it means keeping it a secret to Mom, how do you do that? You are always depriving yourself from the luxuries you solely deserve, setting aside your happiness and self-indulgence just to secretly send us money. Papa, why do you always give in?

For picking up my broken pieces every time I shatter, how do you do that? Whenever I am on the brink of giving up with life, you are there to remind me of why I started in the first place. It’s always your way of subtly telling me to try again. How come?

For patiently listening to my rants, lamentations, and snide remarks though it means hours of you being silent, how do you do that? How do you manage to keep calm whenever I tell you things that can infuriate the hell out of us?

I am so sorry for being insensitive, selfish, and a brat, but you never scolded me for that. Pop, how do you do that?You are the father everyone should ask for because you are the most compassionate, most hard working, most understanding, the most loving.

You have a sturdy hand I and my brothers will always hold on to. I love you just as much how you love keeping me fat.

I am so proud of you that it makes me proud of me, too. I am your baby girl, and thank you for reminding me that I always will be.

Happy Father’s Day, my Superman.

Forever His Baby

Published on June 17, 2015 by Neyzielle RonnicqueLeave a comment

Disclaimer: This essay was first published on June 2, 2011 on my Facebook profile’s notes. So, the 16-year old me had grammatical errors so now, I’m proofreading my own work. Man, this still brings me to tears.

Days like this bring back the hurting that I have long kept deep in my heart and senses. It was hard, really, harder than my on-the-brink-of-failing algebra and trigonometry.

For in my young age, I was six years old then, he left us; my mother, my two younger brothers, and I. I never really understood him. The same questions kept bothering me for years. Is there a need for him to go away? Why did he do it? Is there something I can do to make him stay?

I had sleepless nights and I cried myself to sleep. No matter how hard I tried not to, it was not that easy. Being the eldest, I needed to look after my younger brothers. I needed to constantly monitor them if they had eaten on time or not, if they had took a bath on time, and I needed to provide some of the motherly care that I knew they need to have at their very young age.My mother is a nurse, and she was not always at home. And my father? He’s an OFW, and I hated myself for hating him so much.

I realized that he never really left us, physically, yes, but now, I understand better. He did it for him to provide our daily necessities.

My father is my happiness. A mere thought of him brightens up my day. My father is my best friend, my confidante. Hearing his voice completes my day– though he was not there at the times I needed him to. Those times, I knew I hated him because I was missing him.

I hated him because I got jealous every time I see my classmates being carried by their father, playing with them, making them happy. I hated him because five days a week, I see children being driven to school by their fathers. I hated him because I missed those times when he does the same thing with me.

He was my companion on going to school and every 4 in the afternoon, I will run to him, because I know he is waiting for me outside my school to pick me up.

I hated him because I missed those times that he would carry me home and leave his motorbike in school for I demanded him to do so. After he left, I became a loner. I never talked to other children, even my best friends. I went home alone, crying in the middle of the road. They understood why.

But after what seems like an eternity, I regained myself. I became the happy-go-lucky girl my father taught me to be.

My father is my happiness. He knows my story. He knows my ups and downs. He knows why I am this way. He knows my deepest and darkest secrets. He is my joy. And though I [still] call him late at night, after his very stressful work, he never gets mad at me. He understands me. He loves me. Now, I became the lady he always wanted me to be [I hope and pray].

It’s been 11 years in my 16 years of existence that I have loved the same man all over again. As the November breeze caresses my face and drifts me back to the times I hated my father, I am regretting. I just look at the sky, as I always do, and thank God for giving me a father whom I can lean on to; a very loving father who will always be there to guide and protect me; a father who became my best friend; the best father among his three children and a father who became the best husband to my mom.

No matter how that experience kept on hunting me, I thank it for making me who I am now. I will never hate my father again. I love him and I always will. After all, he is my father– our protector, our provider. He will always be my Hero, he’s the best and he makes me happy.

I am a daddy’s girl, I am his princess. I will always be happy and contented because I will always be his baby.

Writer’s addition: It has been 15 years since he left the family for a greener pasture but there was never a day that I long to see and hug him again because the baby girl is in need of her comfort zone. Yes, because I’m forever his baby.

Not a Happy Ending Story Speech, after all

Published on June 17, 2015June 23, 2015 by Neyzielle RonnicqueLeave a comment

Alice Walker once said that love should not be worked hard for. You should wait for it, and when it comes, you should embrace it and honor its existence. But more than that, I believe that we love because we just can’t help it and we don’t choose who to love. They come when we feel like giving up.

I might sound obscure for you might think that I am a happy-go-lucky woman. You might even find it peculiar for you might also think that I am a strong person; invincible and uncapable of loving. And I might surprise all of you now if I say, LOVE is a verse and I have memorized it ♥

~~Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been loving the same man since I was 15. And yess ♥ I never felt so complete until the day he knelt down infront of me and asked me to be his girl ♥~~ Love may be described in Corinthians 13 but let me share to you the most valuable lesson I have learned n the course of love.

I have learned that EVEN THE STRONGEST PERSON IN THE WORLD WHEN INLOVE COULD CRY. Love was never a compromise, it’s just the acceptance that someone other than the self is existing. There were bumps along the road. Sometimes we stop, but it was NEVER a reason to let him go, never a reason to let “us” go.

In all the times I thought I was a failure, he was my number one fan. And through all the lessons I didn’t want to learn, he was there to make me understand. ~~And if life would ask me to cry for him, I’d do it over and over again if it means proving to him how much he means to me ♥~~

Corny as it may seem but it is one facet of my life that I am ~~proud~~ of. What I am just trying to say is that, in this world of MMS, Facebook and chat, love is never a lost phenomenon. It will continue growing and flourishing. It will never run out of style, it will never get old, it will never lost its value. For the BEST FEELING in this world is still TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY AND TO BE LOVED UNSELFISHLY.

Friends, ladies and gents, these are the reflections of a woman changed by love. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I am happy than I’m still his baby and he is my man. And now, I am proud to say that I LOVE HIM, HE LOVES ME, well, it is the end of story 🙂

PS. But I let go.

Disclaimer: This is my first ever speech for a speech comm class. This has many faults now because things have totally changed but I just want to save this as a reminder that I once shared something this corny in front of a whole class– which has to be my not-a-happy-ending-story after all.

Found this on my Facebook profile notes published five years ago. Yes, you know the dread and shame. 😀