Category: Personal

When a group of amazing Christian friends you barely even personally know surprise you with an advanced birthday greeting, you gotta feel special.

I don’t know why I am writing again, when I promised myself never to write personal things about my birthday that aren’t worth writing and reading.

Because I always hated my birthday since I celebrated my 16th.

I was crying inside a bus going home from Baguio when I turned 16. Accused of stealing a ponytail worth 29 pesos in SM Baguio on my 17th. Yes, I was forced to write a statement saying I am a thief because I was trying to reach on my wallet inside my Jansport when a security personnel grabbed my arm and forcefully dragged me into the security room. Personal bubble popped because only few people whom I trust knew about this.

Worst on my 18th, no one remembered that I should be turning into a lady. They sang a Birthday song to a little girl but not to me, thinking that I was at the back of the venue hopefully waiting for a birthday greeting from them. I was crying the whole night that I couldn’t even open my eyes the next day. I was not expecting a grand debut party but I never expected a celebration being totally taken for granted. I felt so alone in a pool of happy people.

What should you expect for my 19th and 20th? At least it was both celebrated at home with friends and families but the pain from the previous years of uncelebrating kept bugging me down. The voice of the past was just lurking around the corner.

You see, the scars that the past leaves are often painful.

Again, only few people remembered my birthday on my 21st. Good thing I sponsored a Holiday of Hope and Cheer for children in Bulacan so it somehow made my celebration worth writing now.

I was not really expecting something special for my 22nd now that I’m down to two days before the celebration. I will (again) be sponsoring a gift-giving and fun-filled [birthday] celebration with children from Cavite and I guess it will be just that. A dinner with the family and a good night sleep will do.

But this came unexpectedly.

I barely even know this God-given blessings because I met them only over a year ago. I did not aspire for a recognition nor a night of roller coaster mostly on top ride but they wiped away all my birthday reservations that turned cold a long time ago.

No one ever prayed for me like they did and it felt surreal knowing that whatever happens, I am surrounded with Christian friends I could always turn to when  I try to act strong even when I am not.I guess it is finally time to stop ignoring the “happy” in every “Happy Birthday” greeting again.Thank you, Glory in the Highest Christian Ministry Youth JAM. You are my birthday blessings.

[Because] your intelligence is intimidating.

It is uncertain if it is a blessing or a curse to be intellectual — to be objective, critical, outspoken, and significantly constructive nowadays because.. society.

Sorry to burst the bubble but she’d rather be intimidating than senseless.

For her, ‘Maybe they’re afraid of your smart mouth’ is never new.

You seriously think that an ‘intelligent’ girl would change herself  and pretend she knows little just for a ‘guy’ to like her? Sorry but no. She knows herself well enough to think that whatever ‘intellectual capacity’ she inevitably has, a ‘man’ will accept that, no questions asked.She is not looking for a guy who she can have intellectual conversations with everytime. Nor a boy who will actually say yes to all her substantial opinion about world history, politics, art museums, sports, or why social change can do little for disaster prevention and the like. She’s not even aspiring for someone who has better education than her — say Engineer, Architect, CPA, doctor, or lawyer — because she doesn’t discriminate, ever.

Not because she is intellectually intimidating as most of the ‘people with love life’ say, she should now date the equally-intimidating guy.

Not because she can talk with you about anything, she has to look for someone who is more knowledgeable than her.

Sorry but God will tell her who is His will for her in time.

That intimidating woman always prays for that someone who is responsible enough to help his family although he’s going to be dating her. This woman doesn’t need someone who will pay all the bills on dates because she is capable of buying her own food and because she is responsible for it. It doesn’t hurt to share with everything, right?

She will need that someone who can put up with her mood-swings especially when she awfully try to be silly and pathethic and crazy. That woman prays that her someone will have patience in dealing with her inconsequential periods of inevitable PMS-ing.

Or someone who can share the random and sudden cravings for food with her.

Because she doesn’t need someone who is knowledgeable enough about everything just for them to consequently rant and argue over petty things.

She had enough of general criticisms with herself, she doesn’t need additions from someone whose educated opinion doesn’t matter anyway.

An intelligent woman is smart enough to know that she can fit in to every situation, to whoever she is with. Like every woman, she is loud but justified; adventurous but capable in deciding for herself; opinionated but not personal; most importantly, independent but she longs for a good company.

She laughs a little too hard; cries over TV and movie dramas; falls silent when reading a really good book; and speaks when she knows it deemed is needed.

It is not hard to pursue an intimidating woman. She just needs the right man who thinks she is worthy to be pursued regardless of educational background.

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Dear intimidatingly-intelligent woman, just be yourself. The right man who will know what to do when you are clutching a book in your chest at 2 in the morning will eventually come along. Trust His timing.

Writer’s note: Girls, if a guy thinks that being beautiful is just being beautiful physically, I think he can never be the one. Guys, if you cannot accept a woman’s physical imperfections of pimples and excess fat, you are the ugly one.  

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My face is full of pimples and acne marks but I have embraced this imperfection since I was in fifth grade.

I stopped explaining to people why pimples and acne marks just don’t leave my face – that it is in our blood; it is hereditary; no pimple treatment product or dermatology clinic visits have cured it through many attempts—because why should I waste my time?

“Akala mo maganda ka?” (Do you think you’re beautiful?) No one has ever dared to ask me this question before for the past 21 years and it was, for all the reasons in the world, an insult that I have been asking myself since the first time I heard it from a guy.

It did not stop then. He keeps on asking me that.

One person, no one ever did, only one.

Do you think you’re beautiful?

What if I do?I feel beautiful when I work hard everyday knowing that after days of going the extra mile, I’ll be able to spare some of my salary to my family back home and save for the future at the same time.

I feel beautiful when my father posts memes and graphics on Facebook about daughters and that keeps me motivated in life. He is not the showy type but I know he is proud of how I continually reach my dreams. Why should I not feel beautiful about that?

I feel beautiful when I finish three academic papers requiring 1,800 words each- in a week, in the middle of my 8am-5pm everyday work. I have been working hard since I had a job 15 days after I graduated in college, is it not enough to feel beautiful?

I feel beautiful when strangers send me private messages on Facebook telling me that I encourage them to never give up on life through the articles that I am writing.

I feel beautiful when I receive emails and private messages telling me that they are envious of what I have been accomplishing and how well I manage my life despite of continually pushing myself to my limits.

I feel beautiful when my guy best friends text me in the middle of the night or anytime of the day telling me they miss me and they can’t wait to see me coming home. This is because they want to talk to me about everything; because they miss me arguing with them about how to properly treat their girls, or what is the best food on earth, or what part of Ilocos should we be going next for a road trip.

I feel beautiful when my girl best friends call me just to burst their frustrations out. Not because I am their crying shoulder but because I know that they remember me during their downcast times which is just a constant reminder that they trust me and they know I will never leave their side no matter what.

More importantly, I feel beautiful when I wake up in the morning thanking God for giving me another day to live.

I don’t need someone telling me that I am beautiful because I am enough to remind myself of that. I am tired of people telling me I am beautiful [physically] because it is the most awkward thing for me to hear. Lest, I’d rather be called intelligent, witty, or wise because I don’t even know the context of what being physically beautiful is.

Do I think I am beautiful?

Yes, I feel beautiful with all my pimples and acne marks and that didn’t make me feel less of a human.