Author: Neyzielle Ronnicque

She has a wanderfilled way of becoming her dreams.

Separation Anxiety

Published on by Neyzielle RonnicqueLeave a comment

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Noong sinabi kong gusto kong mag-aral, sinuportahan niyo agad ako, pinag-pray, binigyan ng chance na umuwi.. at bumalik ako ng may baong Joshua 1:9.

But I didn’t tell you I was so afraid to go out of Operation Blessing. l was so afraid to tell you that I was begging the Lord for an extension but He said, “Go.”

Afraid that anytime soon, I would have to say [temporary] goodbyes to people who never made me feel alone during my one year of stay in OB.

Afraid because it was as if I’ve set my mind that every morning of weekdays, the homesickness I was feeling every night is nothing compared to the joy you are always causing me every day.

Afraid because I do not know if I can be myself outside of OB — because with you, I do not have my reservations. I can always cry, have my muryot days, stay silent, be firm, be honest, be opinionated, broadcast my snide remarks just about everything, and laugh my hardest without you telling me to stop. [I’m afraid I will laugh na lang ng pabebe kasi mahihiya na ako kapag iba na kahalubilo ko sa classes.]

I was so afraid because if I go out, will I still be able to do that?

I was afraid because who will be there to answer my bible-based questions? Or even my socially-irrelevant queries about the human race? Or.. who will be there to encourage me and assure me that everything will be okay at [most] times I do not know what to do with my life?

I was afraid because I thought about how I can always approach you to blurt out my dilemas in life and after that you won’t let me go back to my desk without saying, “Teka, pray muna tayo.” Or “Kaya mo yan, Nikki yan eh.” Even “Idulog mo lang kay Lord yan, Siya na bahala.”

I was so afraid because I am your  bunso. All the more afraid because I don’t know if there will be other people out there who will be just like you.

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Today (and the confirmation was last night), I am relieved that there will be none.

Because even if I take another path of my journey without you physically, you will always be there to support and encourage me if I fail; scold me when I do wrong; talk to me when I need outlet of my frustrations; and pray for me not only during my hard times but everyday.

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Thank you, OB– especially CCRD family– for the love that never fails to amaze me; for the joy in the workplace that made me feel excited of waking up every morning; for the life and spiritual lessons I’ve learned along the way because you are always there to make me understand; and thank you for the gift of friendship that I will never trade for anything else.

Sorry that I need to go and become my dream. I just have to go to where God wants me to be. My one year of working with you all is a year full of love, adventure, and lessons that I know.. wherever God is taking me, I will always have you; I can always run to my OB Family.

I am not afraid now because you are with me and God will never forsake me.

How can I let go? Hmm. I think this is just an inevitable separation anxiety with only a week left of “officially” working with you.

I don’t have to let go because I firmly believe that you will be just a text/Facebook message away.. so as I am for you. ☺

I’m utterly convinced that you are my angels born without wings.

Love,
Bunso 💕

A Princess, not a Brat

Published on by Neyzielle RonnicqueLeave a comment

Writer’s note: I thought these two words were interchangeable until I stumbled upon this amazing blog post. I am a THE princess of the family and it is an unwritten agreement for the best of us, but I was never a brat just because of the context that has been associated with that word for the longest time.

Personally, everyone I know thinks I am a brat just because I am the only rose in the family and I usually live in the mantra of, “What I want is what I get” and I want to prove it all to you otherwise.Unsplash DownloadedHere are six differences my mind can spare to the world. However, what I am posting here is my own understanding. Please don’t hold me liable if the shoe fits for you on the brat side.

  1. Brat /n/ – a child; a badly behaved one

Princess /n/ – a daughter; a noble young lady who carries herself with poise and dignity

That is according to the dictionary. See the difference?

  1. A brat constantly throws tantrums

A brat never stops until she gets what she wants. You know that someone who throws unimaginable tantrums [most of the time to her parents] just to have what she desires? Yes, a princess does not do that. A princess tells her parents (or loved ones) that she wants something and she usually gets a yes. But rare times she gets a no, she does not feel bad.

  1. A brat refuses to share ideas to others, a Princess shares hers to the world

A brat thinks that her ideas can change the world so she keeps it to herself. She relies to herself to believing full well that she can fulfill her idea though alone. A princess knows that synergy is a must-need. She knows that when she has an idea, she knows who to approach and she usually ask others for help.

  1. A brat is not open to criticism, a Princess takes it wholeheartedly

A brat thinks that she is always right. She hates people who tell her she’s wrong and she holds a grudge for that; a princess accepts it without hatred because she knows well enough that criticism is a room for her to be better next time.

  1. Brat are show-offs and constantly try to one-up their peers to be the center of attention

Center of attention. Yes, because a brat wants the whole world to treat her well. She constantly shows what she has that most people don’t. It’s like degrading other people is her name of the game. A princess knows how to blend with her peers. She knows it full well that her possessions should not intimidate her friends, thus, she takes pride in having real people rather than the earthly fleeting things.

A brat wants what everyone has

.. or she wants everything that everyone still don’t have. A princess knows her boundaries. She knows that what she wants may not be the one that she really needs.

  1. A brat thinks highly of herself; a Princess has an attitude of gratitude

A brat takes pride when she has done something good to other people and she usually thinks that they owe her the world. A Princess gives her heart out to humanity without expecting anything in return. She is always thankful even to simple things done for her.

Dear bratty, I don’t have anything against you. It doesn’t hurt to change.