I can’t actually describe my 2016. It is not bad but I feel like it is, and it is not good as in amazing, either. I still had my shares of everyday mishaps, and I think the universe conspires to punish me for being lazy in general but I still manage to come up with strategy to beat fate’s misfortunes.
I am still able to dodge the bullets adulthood fires at me, and for that I am certain that I still have a lot to learn. I know I’ll still have scratches and bruises from running away from those bullets, but what did Kelly Clarkson say? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse to be feeling happy yet unaccomplished at the same time, but the gray line lies on how I accept defeat or fight and win in the long run. I still choose to win, not taking a “No” for an answer, but then I inevitably make mistakes. I don’t regret a thing, though. I have long set myself to not regret any decision I make, because I only get myself to blame.
I actually still feel like being alone at times but I have great friends, and my best friends are still the best ones. Although I have lose some “friends” along the way, I’m all the more grateful for gaining more.
This year, I also built rapport to equally amazing people. Colleagues, they are. I’m building my network and it is fundamentally helping me in my professional career. That, I am grateful with DOST- Project NOAH.
I am still not halfway to my Lawyer dreams. I haven’t applied for law school entrance exams, never asked my parents to get ready to stash some cash for my tuition fee, because I actually am not yet ready. But I am finally done with my Master’s degree coursework, getting some flat one grades, and it feels amazing.
I feel like I am very tired and haven’t had enough sleep for the year because of graduate school classes and requirements. Well, I did not quit, did I? Now, I’m praying to pass the comprehensive examination so I could proceed to doing my thesis. Please pray with and for me. (Hashtag Sablay 2017/2018).
As if I haven’t had enough of my family and friends asking me how I manage to attend grad school and go to work every weekday for full time, I still give them headaches of thinking where I would travel next. I am still impulsive, even that goes without saying.
I started my 2016 adventure with my best friend in my province, but by the end of the year, we hardly talked and saw each other when he finally decided to get a girlfriend. Maybe that’s just how it is. I’m relegated to just being his “friend” and the best friend status changes drastically. It’s okay, though.
On February, I went to General Santos, South Cotabato for a talk and I slowly minimized my being pabebe with my office mates. On March to May, I was on standby mode because of not receiving my salary. It was just Metro Manila and Ilocos Norte (vv) but it gave me extra time to focus on my studies. I got a GWA of 1.3 xx ~
Real adventures started on June. I impulsively went to Boracay with one of my best sorority sisters. Went solo-backpacking in the island (and shooting place) of Camp Sawi in Bantayan Islands, Cebu on July.
On August, I and my equally impulsive office mate and close friend went to Baguio but there was a typhoon so we still had to work while strolling around the City of Pines. Para sa bayan, it is!
On the same month, we went to Hongkong and China. I was with my office mates turned support group. They are the main reason why I don’t hate my workplace. It is a lot better in there with them.
On September and October, I found fortress in Region IV, Metro Manila, and Ilocos. I had another solo-backpacking trip in November. I went back to Palawan, this time in El Nido, and I gained more fats and darker skin.
Also on November, I went back to Ilocos for a fieldwork and I loved every bit of it because Ilocos team. xx
I should have been in Tagbilaran on the first part of December, but I ditched the trip just because I had enough of office leave, I had another trip waiting, and that I was saving a lot of money which I used for a Visa application. But I went hiking to Masungi Georeserve. It is pretty much the same adrenaline-rush I might have felt by traveling solo in Bohol. I’m going there next year with my family, though.
On December, my Papa went home and I am the happiest daughter in the world. I haven’t celebrated my birthday just like I planned, though. I was so sick that I haven’t really left my bed for the day. And now I’m 23 and I don’t think I’ve changed a bit.
I’m still that happy-go-lucky, all out smile, loud laugh(er), noisy, and sometimes grumpy sorority kid; the impulsive and risk-taking wanderer; the Papa-spoiled girl whose interests involve binge-watching Anime, Korean dramas, and American TV series.
For those who were asking me why I started watching Naruto, it was because I needed to divert my obsession with Song Joong-ki. I chose to resort to anime and I started with Naruto. I couldn’t be happier. Naruto taught me about life more than I am learning from adulthood, and because..
The greater the support behind you, the closer you can get to your goals.
I still travel alone, just like the previous year, but I don’t complain; still reminding myself how blessed I am despite not being rich. I still save a lot, not letting my bank account suffer, but still spend most of my savings to traveling alone.
Alone but never lonely. Alone but sometimes sad. Alone, and I still talk to myself a lot.
But dear self, someday you won’t have to travel alone.
Someday, the waiters and waitresses won’t have to ask you if you’re waiting for someone and just take you for granted. One day, you won’t have to feel the dread of them deliberately forgetting that you are a customer in their restaurant to begin with.
Someday, you won’t have to seat to another restaurant along the beach, just watching people pass by, while the waves peacefully damp your feet from time to time.
Someday, you will have someone to talk to of how the sun beautifully sets and rises; how blue symbolically equates to tranquility; how the mountains inevitably brings lasting peace; or on how you love taking the window seat when you fly; of why you have a love-hate relationship with taking buses to different places; how you long for every boat ride; and of how escaping life as is can be dreadful yet inspiring, time (and money) consuming but fulfilling, and tiring yet rewarding.
Dear self, someday you won’t have to travel alone. Or you would. Still, but it won’t change a thing to begin with.
Happy New Year! To traveling the world in 2017!
Neyziellewanders 