In Law School, Be Careful Who You Call a “Friend”

In law school, they will warn you to be very extra careful about a “friend.”
And it’s very important that you listen to them.

A few days ago, several people sent me a message asking if I knew a certain person. Without hesitation, I replied, “Yes, he’s a friend.” Because that is what I always do. I assume good faith. I give people the benefit of the doubt– even at the expense of my own sanity.

For a long time, I had heard unpleasant things about him and his circle—whispers from different directions, stories that never quite aligned with the person I knew. I dismissed them. I defended him. I told people, “But he’s good to me, you should give him a chance.”

Good? So I thought.

The Illusion of Friendship in Law School

Law school is difficult. It is exhausting in ways that go beyond academics. Having friends—people who make the burden lighter, who make you feel less alone—is a blessing. That is why it hurts more when you realize that not everyone who calls you a friend deserves the title.

I pray that no one ever finds a “friend” like this.

A friend you covered for repeatedly—when he was absent, when he was late, when he needed someone to quietly smooth things over.

A friend who speaks kindly to your face, but the moment you turn your back, you become the topic of conversation at someone else’s table.

A friend who wears the disguise well—until it slips.

What stings is not the gossip.
What stings is the betrayal of trust.

I have always spoken well about this person. Even when others did not. Even when it would have been easier to stay silent or agree. It turns out he was exactly what they warned me about.

To that “friend”:
I hope you realize that I, too, have friends in law school—real ones. Friends who know my character, who will defend me when false narratives are created behind my back, because they know those stories are not true.

Please direct your animosity elsewhere. Do not create narratives to protect yourself. Even the professor who took attendance that day knew you were not present in the Zoom call when attendance was taken. Oh, yes — Attorney himself was the one who sent me the list of who he marked absent that day, touché.

Oh well. Facts have a way of standing on their own.

Here’s a lesson for me, moving forward

Law school teaches you many things—how to read cases, how to think critically, how to argue. But sometimes, the most painful lessons are not found in textbooks.

They come from learning who is genuine, who is performative, and who is only present when it benefits them.

So if there is one lesson I will carry with me, it is this:
Not everyone who calls you a friend is one. And sometimes, listening to the warning would have saved you the heartbreak of finding out the hard way.

I Married the Love of My Life

I married the love of my life.
My best friend.
My favorite plot twist.

Ours is not the grand, cinematic type of love story people expect when they hear about falling in love. It didn’t start with fireworks or confessions or reckless spontaneity. Instead, it began with spreadsheets, project engagements, and shared work calls — the universe quietly doing its job in the background.

We were teammates before anything else: he was dependable, trustworthy, steady. In 2022, when he was promoted to the same level as me, everything clicked in a way I couldn’t fully articulate. What people didn’t know was that it felt as if the universe had been preparing him for me long before either of us were ready.

Looking back, the signs were subtle, almost logistical in nature — but beautifully so.

When our team needed a resident Statistician for the DATOS Project, my officemates asked whom I preferred between the candidates. Without overthinking, I chose him. I just felt that I wouldn’t vibe with the other contender, and somehow that instinct made sense. It was a small decision that unknowingly set the course of our story.

Then, as years passed and teammates left, he remained. At a time when there were still no mutual feelings between us, he became the strongest candidate for a senior role. Again, the universe moved a little closer.

It was during an Information, Education, and Communication campaign in Ilocos that the shift happened. Not with dramatic confessions or grand gestures, but in quieter in-betweens — van rides, long conversations, shared tasks, and that comfortable silence only teammates-turned-friends can have.

Somewhere between fieldwork and side trip in the shores of Pagudpud, it finally clicked:

This wasn’t just teamwork. This was something different, something gentle, something rooted.

From there, the universe stopped whispering and started rearranging everything in our favor.

He is My Favorite Plot Twist

If you ask me now what I love most about our story, it’s that nothing about it felt forced. It didn’t rush. It didn’t impose. It unfolded naturally — at work, in public, in motion — long before either of us could name what it was.

I married the person the universe sent in through the backdoor: as a colleague, then a teammate, then a friend, then a partner. I married the one who stayed consistently when people left, the one who effortlessly showed up, the one who was always dependable long before he became someone I loved.

I married my favorite plot twist.
And I’m so glad the universe conspired the way it did.

I Left the Job I Loved So Well

Exactly three weeks ago today, I left the job I loved.

I remember it vividly—it was a Tuesday morning. The day before, I made the difficult decision to voluntarily leave Project NOAH. The inconsistencies at work had grown heavy, and the future felt too uncertain.

The very first time I entered DOST-ASTI, I walked straight to the Research and Development Department, looking for Ma’am Jeng. A former colleague had recommended me for a major project under the Department of Science and Technology.

I thought it would be a formal interview. Instead, we found ourselves standing in front of what would soon be my future desk. Ma’am Jeng asked, so casually, “When will you start?” The next thing I knew, I was signing a contract to be their Information Officer—with one little request: that they let me rest for a week because I had to fly to Indonesia for a GOT7 concert.

It was such a smooth transition. I felt right at home. I was surrounded by cool and dependable supervisors, a kind department chief, and workmates who made me feel like I belonged.

That was in 2018.

Looking back, the workload at ASTI now feels like a blur. But I’m so thankful for the years I spent there. I had the honor of working closely with then DOST-ASTI Director Joel Marciano Jr., who would later become the first Director General of the Philippine Space Agency. Much like my time in Project NOAH, I represented the agency at media events and was part of the Department’s Information Officers’ pool.

My work was everything I loved: media coordination, public speaking engagements across the country and abroad, stakeholder management, web and social media content creation, editing, and pretty much anything an Information Officer could do.

I was genuinely happy.

It had always been my dream to have a job that allowed me to travel and paid me well. And with Project NOAH and DOST-ASTI, I lived that dream—without even realizing I was fulfilling the silent prayer of 16-year-old Nikki.

Eventually, my DATOS teammates started leaving the agency—one by one—for greener pastures. I was happy for them, but it was bittersweet. Still, my professional life at ASTI continued to thrive.

I was regarded as the Senior Information Officer of the agency. I led content creation and handled most of the agency’s communications. I became the go-to girl for science communication, especially in planning and branding.

I conducted workshops and eventually became Editor-in-Chief of the agency’s Annual Report.

It felt like a full-circle moment—the high school Editor-in-Chief in me was on cloud nine. But sometimes, life humbles you in ways you don’t expect. One day, a single email sent to all employees shattered my confidence. That’s a story for another time—but no matter how I try to downplay it, that moment broke me.

Still, I had people by my side. My supervisors supported me wholeheartedly. Our new Institute Director – Dr. De Leon– and my colleagues reminded me to keep my head high because they believed in me.

With their encouragement and support, I managed to host three more science communication workshops for the agency; and I would like to believe that it led to a better system for the agency’s Corporate Communications.

It led to something more valuable than titles: trust. 

The management believed in my abilities. They allowed me to communicate authentically; encouraged conversations where my voice was heard; and gave me the chance to contribute meaningfully to decisions—especially in areas I once doubted myself in.

I handled the administrative side of the agency’s first-ever large-scale internal event. I led national and regional stakeholder engagements. I was the main project manager for national training workshops and webinar series. I represented the agency—and our country—at science-based conferences and workshops.

And it made me so, so happy.

DOST-ASTI became my comfort zone. My safe space.

But I’ve come to realize that growth doesn’t happen in comfort. It was time to leave—not just to focus on law school, but to truly rest. The stress had built up. The loneliness crept in. The fear of not doing enough started to erode my self-worth.

Still, I showed up.

Until I couldn’t anymore.

So when the opportunity to leave came, I took it.

I resigned. 

No backup plan. 

No next job waiting.

And for the first time in forever, I am unemployed.

But I’m happy. I’m resting. I’m healing.

I left the job I loved so much. 

But maybe that’s the thing— we have to leave the places that once felt safe to discover who we can become next.

I was scared. I loved the job. But I left anyway.

If there’s anything I owed myself—it was the courage to finally choose me.