In law school, they will warn you to be very extra careful about a “friend.”
And it’s very important that you listen to them.

A few days ago, several people sent me a message asking if I knew a certain person. Without hesitation, I replied, “Yes, he’s a friend.” Because that is what I always do. I assume good faith. I give people the benefit of the doubt– even at the expense of my own sanity.

For a long time, I had heard unpleasant things about him and his circle—whispers from different directions, stories that never quite aligned with the person I knew. I dismissed them. I defended him. I told people, “But he’s good to me, you should give him a chance.”

Good? So I thought.

The Illusion of Friendship in Law School

Law school is difficult. It is exhausting in ways that go beyond academics. Having friends—people who make the burden lighter, who make you feel less alone—is a blessing. That is why it hurts more when you realize that not everyone who calls you a friend deserves the title.

I pray that no one ever finds a “friend” like this.

A friend you covered for repeatedly—when he was absent, when he was late, when he needed someone to quietly smooth things over.

A friend who speaks kindly to your face, but the moment you turn your back, you become the topic of conversation at someone else’s table.

A friend who wears the disguise well—until it slips.

What stings is not the gossip.
What stings is the betrayal of trust.

I have always spoken well about this person. Even when others did not. Even when it would have been easier to stay silent or agree. It turns out he was exactly what they warned me about.

To that “friend”:
I hope you realize that I, too, have friends in law school—real ones. Friends who know my character, who will defend me when false narratives are created behind my back, because they know those stories are not true.

Please direct your animosity elsewhere. Do not create narratives to protect yourself. Even the professor who took attendance that day knew you were not present in the Zoom call when attendance was taken. Oh, yes — Attorney himself was the one who sent me the list of who he marked absent that day, touché.

Oh well. Facts have a way of standing on their own.

Here’s a lesson for me, moving forward…

Law school teaches you many things—how to read cases, how to think critically, how to argue. But sometimes, the most painful lessons are not found in textbooks.

They come from learning who is genuine, who is performative, and who is only present when it benefits them.

So if there is one lesson I will carry with me, it is this:
Not everyone who calls you a friend is one. And sometimes, listening to the warning would have saved you the heartbreak of finding out the hard way.