2017 is my year.

The “On this Day” feature on Facebook reminded me that last year, I promised myself to travel the world, and I somehow, semi- did. I have been to ten countries this year and I even went twice to four of them. I literally rode a plane every month; and weekly on March, August, and November – that people were asking what kind of job I have.

I am still with NOAH, still one of the information officers, still enjoying the company of my officemates-turned-close friends. Yes, still, despite the constant nagging of people telling me to find another job, or recruiting me in their companies, or offering me other jobs abroad. Still, because sometimes, we choose the one that would make us happy, safe, protected, and loved.

Those choices made me lose opportunities, it sometimes kept me up all night, God, they even made me want to completely shut down; but still I started every struggling day with a smile telling how cruel the world is. Yes, “Good morning, cruel world, I’m gonna slay today” was my morning chant. It helped.

It helped me through my social anxieties, through my sadness, through my depression.

Depression is the ghost under my bed. It is the shadow that kept me up at the rooftop of my apartment desperately asking the stars for someone to talk to. Depression is my dark side that I keep on fighting against, constantly telling it that it will never beat my being because I have friends, I have my family.

However, I now accepted that even with all the love flowing from my family and friends, I always have to fight the dark shadows alone. I always win the fight, though. I can easily escape it. I finally know how to deal with its demons. I never let it overwhelm me, even if it meant constantly reminding myself that it is not because I am 23.

I actually busted the idea that being 23 makes you feel the worst. There were also accounts of anxiety attacks, but I didn’t hate my year.

This year, I was literally in places I never imagined going. I brought my younger siblings and cousins to Cebu, the oldies in Bohol, my Mama in Korea, but most of my travels, I was still alone. That didn’t change just as I have predicted this day last year because I need to channel my strong independent woman image *laughs*

But, whatever.

I am so close to saying “to more travels in 2018” but I guess next year is for self-care, recognizing self-worth, and being selfish if necessary. Next year would be dedicated to getting rid of the demons inside my head, to throwing away the dread of opening up to my friends, to shedding every bit of those anxieties of going out with other people, and to finally disposing those reservations when someone wants to know me better.

2018 will be a yes year. I will try harder to saying yes to things that scare me. I will say yes to people asking me out for drinks and late-night outings. Yes to becoming better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yes to more opportunities. Yes to life challenges, and yes to whatever that makes me happy.

Here’s to wishing that everyone will do the same. Let us all continue to fight the battles we can win with God’s guidance and grace.

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YEAR-END REPORT

Countries I have been to:

• South Korea (March and December)
• Singapore (February and March)
• Malaysia [Johor Baru, Kuala Lumpur] (February and March)
• Thailand [Hat Yai, Phuket, Bangkok]  (February and November)
• Taiwan (August)
• China [Shanghai] (November)
• USA [Hawaii and San Francisco, California] (November)
• Canada [Vancouver]  (November)
• Vietnam (December)
• Cambodia (December)

Local places this year:

• Antique
• Apayao
• Bacolod and other parts of Negros Occidental (Cadiz Cityyyyy x Lakawon!)
• Bataan
• Bohol
• Calaguas
• Cagayan de Oro
• Cebu (City and South)
• Eastern Samar
• Guimaras
• Ifugao
• Iloilo
• Kalinga
• Palawan (Puerto Princesa)
• Roxas
• Sagada
• Southern Samar
• Tacloban
• Whole of Region 2 (yes friends, I am from region 1 but I haven’t been to most of Region 2, haha)
• Zambales

What I acquired:

• Huawei P10
• Fujifilm Xt20
• Travel gears
• Fats and chubbier cheeks

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2017: Young, contented, financially-unstable but wise on saving and spending. Thank you, 2017. It has been so great. *throws hearts*