Reaching a point in my life where I realize I am, as usual, different. I am feeling like people around me cannot see how weird life is working when adulthood changes ‘normal’ daily grind for the worst.

Reaching a point where I feel like this year still did not offer me the compensation I deserve from the losses and frustrations I substantially gained last year. The reason: I am not what I want to be, I am still not what I need to be. But then again, what should I expect when my life’s share of positive vibe is draining faster than the dreadful negatives?Reaching a point where I undeniably need an escape. This is not where I wished I was. I should be near the beach or camping on a mountain or just at home with my family. But I feel like I’m stuck in the world full of worries about my future and studies, boxed with the idea that I need to build a ‘home’ inside the confines of my dread and weary.

Reaching a point in my life where I just want to do nothing for a day, or a week, much more for a month.

Reaching a point of questioning my purpose in life – because I don’t want to live the life of again asking money from my parents when I should be the one giving back to them at this age.

Reaching a point where again, I do not know where to go, where to be, what to do, and what to think. I am all messed up; my decisions are in complete haywire.

Is this a fair share of the universe’s decision for my fate? Because if it is, I now decide that February is just another trial month like January. I’ll sort my life out on March, crossing fingers.

But where does one go when she now reached every point of solitude and cannot go anywhere further?