Noong sinabi kong gusto kong mag-aral, sinuportahan niyo agad ako, pinag-pray, binigyan ng chance na umuwi.. at bumalik ako ng may baong Joshua 1:9.

But I didn’t tell you I was so afraid to go out of Operation Blessing. l was so afraid to tell you that I was begging the Lord for an extension but He said, “Go.”

Afraid that anytime soon, I would have to say [temporary] goodbyes to people who never made me feel alone during my one year of stay in OB.

Afraid because it was as if I’ve set my mind that every morning of weekdays, the homesickness I was feeling every night is nothing compared to the joy you are always causing me every day.

Afraid because I do not know if I can be myself outside of OB — because with you, I do not have my reservations. I can always cry, have my muryot days, stay silent, be firm, be honest, be opinionated, broadcast my snide remarks just about everything, and laugh my hardest without you telling me to stop. [I’m afraid I will laugh na lang ng pabebe kasi mahihiya na ako kapag iba na kahalubilo ko sa classes.]

I was so afraid because if I go out, will I still be able to do that?

I was afraid because who will be there to answer my bible-based questions? Or even my socially-irrelevant queries about the human race? Or.. who will be there to encourage me and assure me that everything will be okay at [most] times I do not know what to do with my life?

I was afraid because I thought about how I can always approach you to blurt out my dilemas in life and after that you won’t let me go back to my desk without saying, “Teka, pray muna tayo.” Or “Kaya mo yan, Nikki yan eh.” Even “Idulog mo lang kay Lord yan, Siya na bahala.”

I was so afraid because I am your  bunso. All the more afraid because I don’t know if there will be other people out there who will be just like you.

Today (and the confirmation was last night), I am relieved that there will be none.

Because even if I take another path of my journey without you physically, you will always be there to support and encourage me if I fail; scold me when I do wrong; talk to me when I need outlet of my frustrations; and pray for me not only during my hard times but everyday.

Thank you, OB– especially CCRD family– for the love that never fails to amaze me; for the joy in the workplace that made me feel excited of waking up every morning; for the life and spiritual lessons I’ve learned along the way because you are always there to make me understand; and thank you for the gift of friendship that I will never trade for anything else.

Sorry that I need to go and become my dream. I just have to go to where God wants me to be. My one year of working with you all is a year full of love, adventure, and lessons that I know.. wherever God is taking me, I will always have you; I can always run to my OB Family.

I am not afraid now because you are with me and God will never forsake me.

How can I let go? Hmm. I think this is just an inevitable separation anxiety with only a week left of “officially” working with you.

I don’t have to let go because I firmly believe that you will be just a text/Facebook message away.. so as I am for you. ☺

I’m utterly convinced that you are my angels born without wings.

Love,
Bunso 💕