When God says no, it means no. I keep telling and reminding myself of this sentence for a week now but then again, I’m asking for an extension.

But He said no.

Last Monday, I should have went home for an interview for a scholarship grant. I didn’t go, and I heard God said “Hmmm.” Came the following days and He showed me the consequences of disobeying.

I cried but then again, God said no.

I took back my resignation letter comes Thursday, because I said, “Lord, I need more time.”

That night, when I was singing my heart out in worshiping Him, I clearly heard Him asked, “Why do you fear?”

So, instead I asked Him for signs. Perhaps, signs that I have known will come sooner or later. Again, I plead. I said I’m going to stay.

But then again, He says no.

Because He gave me the impression on that Friday morning as He says, “You see, child? Devil is not and will never be working with you because I am here. Why do you fear?” And He led me to Joshua 1:9.

I’m writing this tonight because as everyone in the team are now sleeping while I am here in the porch of this resort room waiting for my photos to be uploaded, again, I am bargaining.

I said He knows my heart. And I clearly heard Him say, “Yes. But I said no.”

Maybe circumstances are “working together for my own good.” That I was really supposed to be feeling that dread for thee days for some reasons. That He’s reminding me once again that if it is for me, I will always be included in the plans. That if it’s for me, I should have that peace in my heart.

But then again, God said NO. Who am I to disobey? Much-needed words come unexpectedly on the most inappropriate time and then I came upon Psalm 118.

When God says NO. I say NO.