“How did you do it?,” she asked.

Then suddenly, I found myself typing the words, “Hindi ko alam, ate. Nagising na lang ako ng isang umaga, na naisip kong, ah, okay, tama na ka-dramahan. Life goes on.” And so I did.

I told everyone many times that I was not hurt. I was just disappointed jsbcs I thought that the person who will help me heal added up to the longliness and loneliness I had been dreading a year ago.

Never mind the five-year relationship because I had years of disdain and wasted time with that. Also, never mind the temporary-whatever-you-call-relationship because I was old enough dealing with and handling that.

Mind the feeling of fulfillment because I don’t have to worry about someone getting mad at me for doing things that I love. Mind my contentment that made me grow more on the box I put myself on. Mind my growing spiritual needs that let me forgive and forget the people who caused all those pain; and mind my mantra that God has a perfect timing for everything.

I am, for my best interest, not letting anyone feed my soul with sweet words and promises of them not hurting me like those of my past did; stopping them the moment they express their desire of this and that because I developed a wall for those, uh, lies.

It’s not that I am not ready yet. I am, for anything, but them I am so happy being spiritually single that I feel like I need to devote my time on knowing Him more than entering the “getting-to-know-each-other” stage of a so-called relationship.

What happened? Nothing really. I just feel like my happy ending story now ends with “me.”