Hi, it’s been a while and I think this may be the perf time to rant about how my I-don’t-trust-you-man stage is never going away. It so happen that pushing people has been my hobby this past few months.

So, Dear Man, You should Know Why.

It’s not that I don’t like you, because I somehow do. It’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I still am not ready for a serious relationship.

You know the story, you know how they left me.

But you told me you’ll wait for me. But just today, you asked me again if everything’s okay. I said, of course not. I am still on the stage where thinking about entering a new relationship brings a mess inside my head.

We were so closed, closed enough that you even know what is happening to me every single day.

You know how much I ranted about his messages; messages that I long have been waiting since he left. You even told me to stop, and I don’t know why.

I told you more that 20 times that it is better for us to stay friends, you didn’t want that. You did not want compromise, and that only made me push you away from me even more. You were so insistent but I treated you like my friend, still.

You should know how much I wanted to tell you to go online and read this, but you cut [our] communication too soon. And man, there is a big difference between “I Love You” and “I Like You”, because I heard those words a hundred times already, but people who said it, left. I’m just afraid you’ll do the same.

Let’s grow up, you gave yourself a great time pretending on those numbered days, anyway.